When I was young I decided to run away to the forest to be with my real family.

via PicsArt Photo Studio

I am allergic to alcohol. Ever since the birth of Mabbina Luna, anytime drinking a beer, vodka, a jello shot. I break out in hives, I get sick.

According into your wicked way, go home
With my banjo, god loves you.

Once, once, one day I happened to be a street kid. I sucked strange dick, I hopped freights. I lived on the whim but craved a mother. My mother was dead, I supposed she had been lovely. Perhaps she was a goddess.

I used to believe, in love. This girl I knew fucked it up for me. She was just a fucking beauty. She was saturated with this glow that came in pools when we fucked. She liked bacon on cheesy toast, bluebirds sunny side up. Her favorite color was the silver on the bottom of soup cans. Her mother was alive, a bitch, she didn’t much like me. I tried to make her love me, I bought her tickets to garden show, she went, came back and said all the flowers were dead. So, I stopped trying.

This girl killed herself. On her mother’s birthday. She was there then was gone.
They looked all over the place, it was supposed to be grand ball, like that Cinderella bitch. I was a waiter, I served the appetizers. I had two minute smoke breaks with Albert. Albert was a Jewish Mexican Anarchist. His mom was long damn dead. Stupid Jehovah’s witness, all high in mighty with her judgement. Jesus is coming soon, I hate you, she said. Albert hated that bitch.

I love you

We are

In six hours

Texas Sunrise beautiful

http://abcnews.go.com/International/Technology/stray-dogs-master-complex-moscow-subway-system/story?id=10145833

http://www.newtimesslo.com/cover/2112/a-stop-on-the-squatters-trail/

I walked a thousand miles in fourteen years
Fifty kisses and ninety nine beers, I kept walking
I wandered down the highway, no destination in mind
Found out new things, left old beliefs behind
I pondered my existence, I fell in love
Traded my girl for a beat up truck, I kept driving
I drove with nothing but the moon as my guide
When no one is looking for you, why try to hide
In the darkness, the darkness has no authority over me

I became the King, a mighty God
To people, the world forgot, I kept evolving
There was a dragon I had to slay, fangs dripping venom
Breath infused with flame
I killed him, oh the songs they sang,
Around the fire, dancing hand in hand
With their daughters

I got bored, built a ship, ce la vie
Don’t give two shits, I kept drifting
Cast from waves to sky, back again
Then capsized
I was drowning, sinking to the bottom of the sea
All the moments flashing before me

I saw my dad, I saw my dog, I saw my one true love
When I was happy, the happy I never let myself be
The pain in my lungs, air constrict
Oh good lord this is it

Closed my eyes, my bottom lip was bit
I opened one eye, there was this chick
With a tail, she was holding my hair in her fists
For a fish, she knew how to kiss

I stole ten thousand dollars, I am probably going to die soon. I just don’t know when, I can guess how, terribly, fucking horribly. I don’t know how I got here, my childhood was fantastic, I did all the normal kid stuff, boy scouts, cops and robbers, kiss a girl run away, fight with my parents, go to church.
Yet, here I am, on then run with a dollar to my name, death on my doorstep needing a fix.

We are in Dallas right now but probably won’t be staying for long. I have always wanted this, to be free, driving down the highway in a blue truck. I have never been south before. I think somewhere sunny would be suitable. A place where I can finally finish a story. Mabbina has been on the road since she was five weeks old, it suits her. The goal is to find home, where that is, I have no idea. I will know when it finds us, trying to find something hasn’t worked out in the past. I think if we just drive, that something will find us. Though happiness will never be found, happiness is something you have to keep close, it isn’t in a house or a car or money. It is a state of being.

Falling, Falling into a deep dark slumber,
Fairies, Fairies, crowd around on my eye.
Go figure skate on that icy desert.
That is nothing like the fairies on my eye.
Mermaids, swim in a sea of gauze.
Surround my feet.
Trying, Trying, to fall asleep in the sea,
of gauze,that those swimming mermaids.
Stole away in my feet.
Nymphs, Nymphs, eat oh how they eat.
My blueberries with delight.
I capture them with my pineapple cake.
They wilt and then die.
Gryphons, Gryphons, breath a ring,
of clouds on my lips, that turned to roses.
They shriek and turn to dust.

I wish I was born in a graveyard,
Near the country side of France,
Painting pictures lovely with an unknown man,
The roses are red,
Though they are bleeding,
Violets get high on the dope
They have smoked,
I wish I was born in an alleyway,
Near the edge of the moon,
Writing a worship to the God I know,

Tulips fade before your eyes,
To the garden,
That blows from the outside.

Here, in this face is my eternity of which I loathe,
To belong to, I fight the weakness to surrender,
My beloved, undress my skin and put in on,
Salivate over the creases and tuck in the folds,
We are in the middle of it all, no place left,
Watching us are the eyes of the curious, symbol,
Hands are stretched out before us, hoping,
For a part in what we call dancing, all of it,
My lips take no part in the world of taking,
Advantage of why, you, my love, taste like butter,
Slipping out of the circle and dance our way,
Into a different life, with many tilted faces.

he is a gorilla for the springtime, he dances for the doctors in their orifice
crawls up walls attacking his shadow Zoloft baby it makes you crazy
turns you loses you just like that fucking picks up walks away
leaves his fucking social security check in between your legs

The time was four thirty, ten years ago. I had just robbed à cop while he was sleeping.

I took the money to buy drugs for the poor gay kids that lived under the bridge.

I wanted to go home but I had nowhere to go.

I could have gone home with a man who looked like a bible salesman

he smelled like tuna fish and broken hearts.

So I smoked drugs with teenage drag queens and talked

about the future that never would belong to us

he is a monster in a tent backyard near the fence
he is fantastical
he paints makeup on his face nods out when he prays
he is impossible to love
he has a love of freaks naked on the sheets gap between teeth
he is unattainable
he has six diagnoses masturbates with toast
he is hundred-to-one
he wears his mother’s clothes shoves coke up his nose
he is hopeless

she is a homeless Finnish slut ravens eating crust
she is a sure thing to love
she screams at kids feeds tricks to pigs
she is perplexing at the most
she fucks herself with violins singing definitions of sin
she is impossible to touch
she has too many dreams eradicated at the seams
she is crazy

Chapter Zing

On dark and stormy nights like these, one should expect something strange, odd, to occur. As a matter of fact, something did happen. I was walking to my car to get my cigarettes, bare feet, lone scorpions sleeping in tumbleweed scatters when I stumbled upon this creature. It was tiny, maybe three feet tall, staring up at the stars on it’s slender paws? It’s face was human like but it had two flowers on long stems poking out of it’s head. Then I noticed the wings, orange silver shining under the gleam of the motel parking lot lights. Naked, a girl. I thought perhaps a fairy of some sorts from the desert, wait, a fairy? What the fuck, it had to be the mushrooms we bought back in Denver. This fairy, this hallucination was beautiful, black hair, white skin, extremely long nails turned and saw me staring. I froze, rather embarrassed to be caught, I thought maybe desert fairies resorted to violence when disturbed. I was wrong, she stood up and somehow grew taller. She towered over me. All I could do was say, Hello, nice night we are having. I um well needed a smoke and now that you are here well fuck I need a drink. She kept staring at me, I just stood there thinking of all the times I had gotten fucked up running into the woods naked searching for moments like these. Then, she kissed me. I was shocked but I kissed her back, her wings enveloped me, it was better than sex. We kissed under the motel parking lot lights for what seemed to be hours. When we broke apart, she spoke.
My name is Zing, I don’t know where I am, I am from up there, she pointed to the Moon. I looked up and saw that the moon was purple, a color I had never seen it before. You are from the Moon, I asked. No, not the moon farther much farther. I am from a beautiful place, it was on fire when I left, rather fell actually. I fell for hundreds of years it seemed then i landed here just a few moments before you found me by your car. How do you know what a car is? We have them too but they aren’t like these, they are bigger like mountains, green glass. Everyone has a green glass house where I come from. The king, has a red bone house, made from the executions of mad men.You have a king? Yes, he is grand but evil. He wanted me to be his wife, only for one reason though, what reason I asked Zing. Zing replied, to be his whore. We fucked once on Empathy, a drug so rare that nobody in a million years has found it in the wild.
Empathy you say, well fuck, Zing? Don’t mind me but I am just going to sneak past you and grab my cigs, I really need one, that is why I came out here. Do you have a place to stay for the night? Do you want to come stay in my room until the morning?
I thought I’d try and fly back but flying up is a bit harder than flying down, so yes. I do need a place. I will sleep the sink if you don’t mind. I have always slept in the sink, yes we have sinks where I come from. I am not too different than you, I just have these orange wings you know and my antennas. That is about it oh plus I grow when I stand so I guess physically we have nothing in common.

Zing came to my room, took a shower ate some dried fruit I had bought a couple days ago, fell right asleep in the sink after the fourth pineapple. I woke up and she was gone, so were my car keys and my dried fruit. I knew it, I knew I shouldn’t have asked a fairy inside my room. They will steal your car. Lesson learned

Chapter Dollypin

After that fucking desert fairy Zing stole my car and a bag of nineteen dollar dried fruit, I packed my few belongings and tried to hitch a ride to the city. I needed a drink bad, a good fuck more like it but I guess that had to wait until the right car came by. It took four hours until finally a cop car came swerving wildly down the road. H e pulled next to me, almost ran over my foot, rolled his window down, slurred his words. Wherez the fucksie wants to go? Isie gots a rides for yous. I told him I don’t get into cars with drunk drivers but since he was a stranger and a protector of the peace, I decided he was safe so I got in. He had his pants down around his ankles getting sucked off by this mermaid? Thisie heres my girlsfriends Dollypins, I founds her on the beech! The cop laughed pulled a pipe out smoked some meth and offered me some. I politely refused and looked out the window wondering if my Dad could see me now all the way up in heaven. Fuck it my Dad was a bastard he probably went to hell. Oh well, I looked back at the cop, he has a pretty nice dick for a pig but the mermaid, the mermaid is what kept my attention. She was bald, had blue fins and huge breasts.
So whersie going gonna go toos? The cop came all all over the mermaids pretty face and started the engine. Well, I would like to go into the city, get a hold of my friend. I need a new car, this bitch fairy stole mine just a couple hours ago. I think before 6 am. I am not sure, I was sleeping. Ohsie! Yousa ran into the beech from the moonsie!

Love you
Whoever you might be
I apologize
For anything
I might have done
To hurt you

She Don’t Use Jelly by the Flaming Lips  was playing in my head when Sebastian held the gun to my head and asked where the money was. I knew I was fucked anyways so I just smiled. The last thing I saw before my mouth shredded into dirt was how pretty of a day it had been. I couldn’t move enough to play dead so I just waited. The Midlands of death is like a pretty coat. Dust in my hair, my blood smelled of all those pennies I threw away.

Sebastian was my husband, he was sexy OK but he liked me best in bruises.

Overrated
I bought a two dollar Bingo scratch ticket on my way out of Yellowstone and won five hundred dollars
the most I ever won from California was the sense never to go back